Goth Gamers, Dark Wave, & Rat Roundups (Grim Beard)

Conducted by Giallo Julian (06/01/2025)

(modified for readability)

What’s up, Goth Gamer Nation! Today, we’re talking with Grim Beard — YouTuber/Musician/Gamer — about what makes him tick. Everything from goth culture, to Nancy Drew, to rats! Slap in you’re favorite 90s industrial rock, crank that volume up, and let’s go!

“To be edged Lovecraftingly…” — Grim Beard, 06/01/2025

Interview:

Giallo Julian: “So first, thank you for being part of the interview! I know you’ve been posting on YouTube for just over a decade — at least on the Grim Beard channel — but I want to talk about earlier.

“What was it like for Grim Beard before YouTube? What interest did you have growing up? Was gaming always in your blood? Were you born goth? Or did the goth seek you out and envelop you into the fold?”

Grim Beard: “[laughs] I’d say it was. I was always drawn to goth and alternative culture. In part, it was just a “right time, right age” sort of thing, where you’re, like, just alienated, and anxious, and dorky enough. But also, the time of my adolescence — mid-90s to mid-00s — was sort of the last time that, you know, genres like industrial rock and dark wave were commercially viable.

“You were hearing it in film soundtracks and games, especially racing games and on MTV. So there was this wider acceptance and ubiquity that was… easy to fall into and empathize with. And I think before my channel, there was this period in my 20s when I really suppressed that. Probably to be in, like, a number of really unfulfilling relationships where I was like, Oh, this is the goofy part of me that nobody likes.”

GJ: “I feel that. I’ve been there, man.”

GB: “So yeah, I was kind of just, like, sleepwalking through life. And then when I started, I slowly started prying that door open again with the channel. I have this legitimate sort of revival of sense of self in talking about all this stuff that I used to say I liked ironically. And it’s like, No, I’m actually just that person.

“Like, I’m actually still just a guy that wears Cradle of Filth shirts, and paints their nails with Sharpie. You know?”

GJ: “Hell yeah!... It’s always nice to be able to be true to yourself, especially after suppressing it for so long. I used to do that back in, like, high school and in my early 20s. It always felt like you were lying to yourself a bit.”

GB: “Right. Well, there’s just expectation that you’re supposed to — I don’t know — grow up and fall in line. And I don’t think people ever actually really grow up, now that I’m here. [laughs]”

GJ: “[laughs] We’re all just trying to fake it till we make it at this point, man.”

GB: “Pretty much.”

GJ: “Society has a tendency to try and put you in a box, and that box is really boring and gray. I want to go out where all the colors are. I want to go outside the box. I want to go where all the fun stuff is.”

GB: “Yeah, and I think it’s really easy to have this, like — Or there’s this really obvious crossover between, you know, goth, and alt culture, and gaming, because being goth is very nerdy and theatrical. It’s tied to pop culture through horror movies, and Anne Rice novels, and this whole umbrella of music, so it just seems natural that it would extend out from that.

“But as far as before doing a channel, I was pretty much doing a series of hobbies that were all stepping stones to what I’m doing now. Because I liked writing... I had a blog for a while where I would review games, and movies, and complain about this job I had at a PC repair store. But I think more than anything, I just liked editing, and I liked manipulating or ruining different types of media.

“So me and my brother would kind of, like, rip movies and cut them up, and make them say weird things, or slow them down and warp them. I think years later there was a term for that, which was YouTube Poop, but I don’t think we knew at the time what that was. It was just like, This sounds funny! It’s like just the lowest tier of comedy, but I don’t think I’ll ever laugh as hard as I did making shit like that.

“But yeah, we would do projects like that, or take comic books and scan them, and rearrange the cells and add new dialogue. So there’s a lot of that that has just extended into the content where, you know, I will replace dialogue and cutscenes, or cut away to VHS rips of something I found at a thrift store.

“Yeah, so it was just a long time of me doing all the different parts of making videos until I was like, Oh, this is all of them at once. You know?”

GJ: “Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I mean, the more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s kind of weird. Like, I’ve noticed — especially in my life, I’m not sure if it’s commonplace for everyone else — you kind of go in a circle. You start off liking all this shit as a kid, and then you’re told to grow up a little bit, and you go until you reach a point. Then you go back to the shit you used to like as a kid and realize, Hey, you know what? This is more me than I have been for the past couple years. I want to go back. I guess it’s also kind of a nostalgic thing, going back and being like, Hey, better times being a kid.”

GB: “For sure.”

GJ: “But it’s cool when someone has all these hobbies and all these fun things they used to do, and [it] actually becomes — I won’t say job — but, like, a viable source of income. You’re pretty much doing what you love and making money off it, which is always kind of the goal. I’m more of the “create-art-to-create-art” kind of person, but being paid for it is also nice. [laughs].”

GB: “[laughs] Yeah, I appreciate that part. When I started the channel, it was very easy for me, because I went into it being like, you know, The worst thing that can happen is that nobody sees it. And that’s okay, because in the chemistry of my mind, it’s still a hobby. So at the end of the day, I’m doing my hobby. Either outcome would have been great for me because I just like making things. You know?”

GJ: “That makes perfect sense. I think it’s healthy to keep that mindset, because once you think of something as a job, it becomes tedious. That’s why I — For this job, it’s more of a side gig than it is an actual job. Spoiler alert: journalists don’t get paid too much.”

GB: “I figured.”

GJ: “Not that I’m complaining. I do this because I like letting people — What’s the word I’m looking for? — I like giving exposure to people who deserve it, and independent creators, and stuff like that. Mostly the work of independent creators. And it’s always fulfilling in that way where I feel like I’m giving back to the community a little bit. Like, trying to help out.

“It definitely feels like a hobby… Basically, I do this in all of my free time. Once I start thinking of this as a job, I think it’ll be a lot less fulfilling, so hopefully I never get to that point. I feel like it’s similar to you.”

“Yeah, I think during the pandemic, I definitely — That was my moment of like, Either I go all in on this, or I will be homeless. So there was this actual physical need for me to keep making things, but I’ve never lost sight of it being my absolute favorite thing to do. I’ve never taken for granted that this literally is my dream job. And, you know, no matter how much I increasingly need to lean onto it to survive, I think it’s important for me to keep that mental wall up.”

GJ: “Oh, I completely agree. I feel like the pandemic — Because the pandemic was when I started doing this, I feel [it] was a good motivator for all of us.”

GB: “A lot of people found themselves during that.”

GJ: “Yeah, we had nothing better to do but sit in our room and disassociate. Be like, Who am I as a person? What should I do? I can only binge watch X-Files so many times before it gets stale. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] Eventually, you have to self reflect.”

GJ: “Exactly, which is always the worst part. But once you get past that, once you get past that reflection, it usually becomes a little bit more fruitful.”

GB: “For sure.”

GJ: “And, you know, a good motivator is keeping a home. If there’s any reason to start doing shit, that’s a good reason. But I agree, keeping that mental wall up definitely helps keep things fun, keeps things as something you want to do. Because again, as I was saying, once you think of it as just a means to make money, or a means to survive, it becomes a lot more serious, and a lot more labor intensive to do.”

GB: “Yeah, there’s for sure a lot of money moves I could be making that would make my channel more profitable, or more accessible. I’ve always fought against that because I know that the audience is there. Like, you brought up the sort of circular nature of how we loop around to nostalgia for things we liked… There’s always going to be this window of people that are rediscovering that it’s, you know, okay to indulge in these things that we told ourselves were embarrassing and lame.

“I know mid-roll ads are annoying, so I’ll never add those. It’s like — If you’re there and you want to support me, that’s cool. [laughs]”

GJ: “It’s not expected.”

GB: “It’s — I totally lost track of where I was going there.”

GJ: “You’re good!”

GB: “I know I could be whoring myself out more, but I think that the part of the YouTube channel that is just the genuine nature of me being me is important to the vibe and the aesthetic of the channel. And it’d be disingenuous to, like, actually try to sell you some kind of scam product or something.”

GJ: “Like Raid: Shadow Legends or Honey — or whatever it was.”

GB: “Oh yeah, I’ve gotten the email. I’m sure the only time I’ve let any of that in was with GOG, which I think is actually a great service.”

GJ: “It helps because when you do have something like that, people are like, “Oh, it must actually be an interesting product because he never throws these ads in there… It must be something that’s worth my time.”

GB: “Hopefully, yeah.”

GJ: “I highly respect that. YouTube is very much a game that a lot of people play, and it’s definitely refreshing to see people not play that game. Like, just a genuine sense of I’m making — not even content, I hate saying content — but making art for the sake of making art. I’m doing this because I believe in it. I want to be as true to me as possible. I don’t want to try and fit any algorithms or anything.

“I think people respond really well to that… You might not get the biggest audience doing that, but I think you get a more fulfilling and a more honest audience out of it.”

GB: “Yeah, I think you also hurt yourself as a creator more if you go into it, you’re expecting to play the game and get these numbers, and you don’t get it, and you’re like, Why isn’t this working? When that’s been, like, the part of it that I’ve completely ignored.”

GJ: “Good, because I feel that’s just a recipe for getting depressed. You set such high expectations for yourself. If you have no expectations, you can’t be let down.”

GB: “For sure, right. It’s like, I can’t get burnt out if I’m never compromising, or trying to appease somebody else. You know?”

GJ: “I’m not trying to reach out to a certain demographic and… be like, “I should do more of this kind of content so more of these people come and watch my stuff.” It’s more like, I want to do the stuff I want to do.

“You used to have polls. I remember you saying you have polls for video games. Which is good, too, because that’s a lot of… audience interaction there, which also gives more of the personable feeling towards your audience, which is really fun and nice. And I imagine it makes things a little bit easier, especially if you don’t know what game to do next.”

GB: “Sure. That’s backfired on me this last poll.”

GJ: “Really?”

GB: “Because I am gaming the system by, like — I’m only including games that I know I can make content out of. And then a friend suggested that I add the game Drakengard — which is a game I’ve never played — so it’s one game, and I’m like, Alright, there’s so many. How could it ever win? And, of course, that’s the one that immediately by landslide won. It’s like, Oh, I’m going into this completely blind.

“And I guess I do like that challenge, but it certainly — I never actually know how to read or, like, expect anything from my audience.”

GJ: “Fair. It’s always a little bit more stressful going into something that you’re not comfortable with, or something [you don’t] know inside and out, or something you just never seen before. Because then you’re sitting there like, Well, what if I have nothing to say about it? What if I go into this game and hate it? Or what if I go into it, and there’s literally nothing?”

GB: “I will find something to like about it. I will dig deep enough, because I don’t want my channel to be kind of steeped in, like, the old-style negativity of [game reviews].”

GJ: “You don’t want to be the Angry Video Game Nerd? Or one of the 15,000 other sorts of nerds out there?”

GB: “I have respect for the originator.”

GJ: “Oh yeah, of course. Without him, we wouldn’t be where we’re at right now.”

GB: “Yeah, it is just the, you know, fallout of him that I think was problematic.”

GJ: “Yeah. That and the Nostalgia Critic. All of them kind of crashed and burned to one degree or another.”

GB: “Right. Well, it made the format based around negativity, and pointing at games and saying they’re bad.”

GJ: “Well, it’s like Cinema Sins, where it’s like, “Hey, I want to point out everything wrong in this movie.”

“It’s not wrong. It’s just a movie, and sometimes you got to cut corners. Sometimes, you got to do this shit. Have you ever edited a movie? That shit’s fucking hard to do.”

GB: “Yeah, games are — That’s like — Going over the history of how so many doomed video game productions [happened], the biggest thing I learned is that making games is very hard.”

GJ: “Who would have guessed? [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] That’s some charitability that I think everybody should be granting even games that are notoriously bad.”

GJ: “I fully agree. In fact, I feel like you’re a kindred spirit to me, because I do the same thing when I watch movies and stuff. So, I watch a lot of movies of varying quality, depending on what’s going on. And I always factor in, Well, what was the budget? What were they working on? How much time to film this?

“Because there’s a lot more — I feel like you have to grade — not “grade” something, but see something in relation to what their resources were. So I shouldn’t be comparing an indie film made of $20,000 to a big blockbuster movie [in terms of production]. I think that’s very unfair.”

GB: “For sure.”

GJ: “And I think that’s the same way for gaming. You shouldn’t hold an independent game on the same standard [production-wise] as a triple-A game. Usually, the independent games are a lot more creative than the triple-A game, but still… Let some leeway happen, even if it’s just, like, the pause screen looks really good, [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] Right. The pause screen — The loading screen, I think, is a dying art.”

GJ: “Oh, for sure. There’s no more loading screens, like, on the PS5… There’s no more hints. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. It’s just gone… It used to be kind of a break. You sit there, you get to a loading screen like, Oh thank god, I can take a moment to breathe. I made it to the next level. Now it’s like, “Nope, keep going.”

GB: “Yeah, I’m definitely reaching a point where, I think, games are eclipsing what my brain can handle. Which is all the more reason to just retreat into small games.”

GJ: “Oh yeah, for sure. And again, I truly believe independent media is where all the creativity is. That — I’m not saying that higher budget or major studio-tier stuff can’t be creative. In fact, I watched Sinners, and that was fucking great. So it is up there. There are [creative] people up there. It’s just that there’s a lot more of them in the independent sector, because they’re allowed to do more. They’re not trying to appeal to anybody but themselves, usually.”

GB: “Games are getting bigger, and there’s this goal for, like, [where] double-A… development used to be, that is just slowly being filled by indie. Which is great, I think.”

GJ: “Yeah, I think that’s fantastic. So I’m like, Cool. These are people that actually want to do what they’re doing… It’s a vision, and not just a product. It is someone who is putting their heart and soul into something, and making it reality. As opposed to a studio being like, “Assassin’s Creed 18! This time, it’s the Stone Age, where you play as a caveman! All the parkour caveman shit!” 

“But no, I fully agree with that. Let’s go ahead and go to the next question.

“We already talked about this a little bit, but if there’s anything more you want to add onto it, what inspired you to take the first step towards a YouTube career? Was it a rough start, or did everything fall into place relatively smoothly?”

GB: “Well, not to repeat myself, but I do think there was a growing, like, disillusionment with that phase of gaming content that was just, you know, “guy in Zelda shirt in front of wall of games say this game sucks ass.” And there’s always a side narrative where an evil producer or audience is, like, forcing them to play these games they hate, or something.

“My journey through gaming was so different, because I rarely got games as they came out. I would always get them from, like, clearance bins and thrift stores, so the majority of what I played were very ugly, low-budget, Eastern Europeans adventure games.”

GJ: “Hey, there’s gems in there.”

GB: “Yeah, I say that completely fondly… But I didn’t really see anybody talking about these games, or saying how weird and interesting they are. Just, you know, noticing the craft work and detail of them, and just being charitable to them, even though they’re weird and broken.

“That’s less so the case now, obviously, but there was this window I saw where it’s like, There’s not a lot of people just liking games out here.”

GJ: “There’s always something to complain about. There’s always something wrong in the game. There’s always something that you can nitpick and blow out of proportion nowadays, apparently."

GB: “Yeah, I think with indie games, I’ve restricted myself to just talking about the ones I like, because if I take this measured approach to talking about on guy’s little passion project or something, and I’m being critical of it — It has happened where I will just see that guy in the comments, and it’ll be like, “Oh yeah, you’re right about this. I didn’t really have any money, but thanks for playing my game.” And, like, that has stayed with me forever.

“So I’m like, You know what? I’m just going to pick up the ones that I think are cool.”

GJ: “Yeah, I get that. It’s weird. It’s humbling when you realize that these people are just people, and they might watch your content. Like, when you talk about triple-A games, no one from that production is probably going to see your shit. But independent people, they’re… on the ground enough to actually be able to see your content. And I imagine hearing… someone being critical of your work is probably a little disheartening.”

GB: “Yeah, I honestly — If I’m saying something nice about a game, and they comment, “Hey, thanks for saying that!” That’s okay, that’s good. But as a general rule, it really gives me anxiety when anybody that has made a game talks to me after I’ve made a video about them.

“I remember I did a video about the game Alice: Madness Returns by the creator American McGee, and he tweeted that he had watched my video. He said, like, a completely benign thing to anybody else, but to me, it was like a dagger through the heart. And it was just like, “I watched this video. It was pretty good. Some parts were… interesting.”

“And [I’m] like, “I don’t know what that means. I don’t like that you can see me.” [laughs]”

GJ: “Yeah, I know. It’s like, “Please elaborate!”

GB: “[laughs] Yeah, complete Blue Velvet reaction, totally.”

GJ: “[laughs] Exactly. Just — 1. Why? Why, American McGee? Do you just watch videos that are about your Alice games? I mean, maybe, I haven’t heard of him in a while. So maybe he does just sit around and watch videos on YouTube about his old games.”

GB: “I think he’s out of the game.”

GJ: “Yeah, I think so.”

GB: “Quit the biz.”

GJ: “He did Bad Day LA and left, I guess. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “That’s really fucking, like — What’s the word? — Bizarre. Almost like — What’s the word I’m looking for? — It’s just weird. 

GB: “Normally comments don’t mean anything to me, but if… I can’t read what the intention of it is, I will think about that for years.”

GJ: “Just tell me “interesting” in a GOOD way, or “interesting” in a BAD way. That’s all I’m asking. Don’t leave me like this. I totally feel that.”

GB: “I’m a big fan [of Alice: Madness Returns]. I have a tattoo that’s based on some of the concept art from that game. So that was like, you know, Why is my hero talking to me? Please don’t.”

GJ: “You’re sitting there like, “I love your work, but I don’t want to meet you because of who I am as a person.”

GB: “Right.”

GJ: “I totally get that.”

GB: “If I knew you were going to watch it, I wouldn’t have dunked on you for Bad Day LA, or something.”

GJ: “Know what I think? I think at that point, I’d double down and be like, “Hey, you’re going to watch my shit? I’m going to go ahead and give all my grievances to you. First, I love your work. Second, here’s everything I think you did wrong. Alright, smart ass! I’ll give you something INTERESTING!” [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] No, I’m too cowardly for that.”

GJ: “Yeah, that’s fair. I mean, it took me a while to get to that point, because I was the same way. When I first started this, I would write stuff, you know, before I started doing interviews, before I started… focusing entirely on independent media. Rather, I would write just based upon things I liked because I didn’t know what to write about for this job.

“So I was like, Okay, I’ll write about C.H.U.D. I’ll write about this, I’ll write about whatever. And every so often, I would write something, and then the creator would retag me or say something. I’m like, “You actually read my shit? Whoops!” [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] Well, that’s a sign that you like the craft of it, that you didn’t even consider that part.”

GJ: “Yeah, because I don’t. So I feel like I’m, you know — I’m on Dread Central, but I’m not one of the people on the regular staff. I’m like on the middle rung of the ladder, and that’s being a little bit generous. I might actually be more like the lower-middle, but you know.”

GB: “Well, I’ll give you that middle rung position, know nothing about this.”

GJ: “Oh, well, thank you so much! I appreciate it. I’m going to put that [on my website]. “Oh, Grim Beard said I’m the middle rung. That’s all that matters to me!” [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] He’s a real middle-rung guy!”

GJ: “Yeah, he’s a real middle-rung guy! [laughs] You know, not too important. And I met one of my good friends doing [those articles]. There’s this creator, Drew Fortier — he’s part of the band The Lucid, which has, I think, the bassist from Megadeth in it, the lead singer from Sponge, almost like a small super-group.”

GB: “Super group, yeah.”

GJ: “And the drummer from Fear Factory, I think.”

GB: “Oh, that’s sick!”

GJ: “Yeah, I know, right? Off to a tangent real quick… One of my best friends is a big nu metal chick, so I’ve been slowly getting more and more into nu-metal.”

GB: “It’s coming back around.”

GJ: “I think so, too.”

GB: “[laughs] [People are] re-examining it.”

GJ: “People are listening to Limp Bizkit unironically now. The world’s healing itself. [laughs]”

GB: “I suppose.”

GJ: “So I met [Fortier] through — I wrote a little, small thing about the movie he did — Dwellers — and I was like, “Oh yeah, this movie is fine. If you need to waste an hour or something, it’s great. It’s a fun little movie that was made in four days with no budget. For a micro-budget film, it’s pretty damn good.” And then he reached out like, “Hey! What’s up? I want to talk to you some more!” We just started talking and became good friends. [laughs]”

GB: “Oh, that could have gone either way. [laughs]”

GJ: “I know, right? So I was like, Wow.”

GB: “[as Fortier] “Hang on! Let me talk to you about that!”

GJ: “[as Fortier] “I want to talk to you. Good stuff!” And I’m like, Oh thank god. Phew! Bullet dodged! [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “I think out of all my interactions, I’ve only had one negative one. It was because I wasn’t as positive as I could’ve been to something. And I’m like, “Well, I’m not going to lie about my feelings, so I’m sorry you thought that I was being a little harsher on your film than I should’ve been. But it’s whatever.

“Anyway, I totally get that. Point being, it’s always weird when people you write about or talk about actually watch your shit and confront you about it.”

GB: “Yeah, you tend to operate like you’re behind glass, so it’s disorienting.”

GJ: “It’s the camera situation, where it’s like a photographer behind a camera immune to everything around them, because they’re seeing things through the lens and not as, you know, real around them. It’s almost like a shield, until it’s not.

“I would like to take credit for that, but I actually learned that from Savageland, which is a really good found footage horror movie… Instead of it being found footage with a camera, it’s like a [faux documentary], and the found food is still pictures.”

GB: “Ooo, okay.”

GJ: “Yeah, it’s really good. It’s a really good, little, fun movie.”

GB: “So you’re kind of a horror guy.”

GJ: “Oh yeah, horror is my — [gets joke, laughs]”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “I know I hide it really well. People can’t really tell that about me.”

GB: “For sure. I think the last found footage movie I had, like, big respect for was Noroi: The Curse.”

GJ: “Oh, I love that movie!”

GB: “That movie goes hard.”

GJ: “Probably one of the best Lovecraftian movies I’ve ever fucking seen… I’m not usually creeped out by things, but that movie creeps me the fuck out. [laughs]”

GB: “I was waiting for it to come out on a 4K, and then Arrow put out this collection of Japanese horror movies, and it was just in there, but it’s, like, super expensive. So it’s like, Well, I just want Noroi, this is how I have to do it. And then months later, I think Umbrella or somebody just put it out by itself, and I was like, Fuck!”

GJ: “Yeah, the boutique physical media game is a hard one.”

GB: “[laughs] It is!”

GJ: “You sit there like, There’s a limited release! Do I buy this now, or do I gamble to see if it comes out later cheaper and not part of a set? Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes your spend $200 on a thirty-fucking-movie folk horror collection that you just have sitting in your room, because it’s too overwhelming and intimidating to actually watch, because there’s thirty films on it. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] Yeah.”

GJ: “Well, it’s a nice set piece. It’s a nice conversation starter.”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “[laughs] Yeah, I know that game.”

GB: “[as Giallo] One day I’m going to watch these movies.”

GJ: “One day. When I have time. The ironic part is I never have time. I slowly collect things like books and movies with the promise to myself that one day I’m going to watch this. I don’t know what that time is. It’s so far away that I don’t see it. Hopefully one day it shows up.”

GB: “Yeah, if I’m ever playing a game for myself, it’s in thirty minute increments over the course of two months, or something.”

GJ: “Yeah, same here, because I feel like I’m wasting time that I can be spending doing my passion. Like, Why am I sitting here enjoying myself? I should be writing! It’s hard.”

GB: “Oh, for sure.”

GJ: “It’s just so hard to relax nowadays.”

GB: “Absolutely.”

GJ: “Alright, so next question.

“Your channel mostly consists of video game analysis, especially games from earlier generations. Point-and-click adventures, early 2000s shooters, survival horror, action RPGs, the overlooked and underrated Gothic masterpiece Nocturne — you cover a variety of tastes.

“How do you choose what games you analyze? How long does it usually take to finish a video? And what are the steps you take in creating one?”

GB: “Pretty much if I can tie a game to some kind of personal experience, or if I feel it exemplifies the era where I really started to connect with games, then I can probably find something to work with. I don’t really go into it with, like, the absolutes of good or bad in mind.

“It’s more like, Can I talk about this at length? Can I find qualities I enjoy? Will it lead me to [spiral] into asides and bits about peripheral content and the ephemera of the game business?

“But yeah, I’ve had people ask me if I worry about running out of games to cover that fit the channel’s tone, but I think I’m more than capable of dragging anything into that tone, even if I’m not covering a dark, gritty horror game. The channel is so steeped in that. That’s the theme and the sense of humor, so it will be that way no matter what.

“So I’m open to a lot of things, but I think I excel if it’s, like, something kind of schlocky from the mid-00s. There’s just a constant database of it in my head, and, obviously, that’s hard to pick through, so the polling helps.”

GJ: “I feel like there’s so many games from that era, that burning out on content is the least of your worries.”

GB: “For sure. I think I’ve been pretty good — but slipping lately — about the whole process taking a month to play the game, sometimes several times while capturing footage. I’ll take bullet notes of thoughts, and experiences, and jokes, and memories. Then I pretty much free write until I can’t anymore, and I’ve used up all those bullets as a guide through it. And I’ll often leave — If there’s, like… the cadence says there’s a joke here, but I don’t have a joke, I will just leave a space there that says, “Say something funny.” There’s many placeholders throughout, so there is this INCREASING improvisational quality to it, because I’m so slow at writing. It is, like, the hardest part of the process.

“But then, since I love editing, it all comes together in the edit, and even that is very stream of consciousness. Where, in the moment, I’m reminded of some obscure reference… that didn’t come up while writing, and I’ll stitch those in. So the timeline will have a billion little markers that are vague hints at, like, Simpsons bits or something, and I’ll just know what it means.

“So if a video ever feels like it’s becoming aimless or trailing off into something barely associated, that’s probably by design. I’m aware that that’s happening, but I think I can make it funny by leaning into it, I guess.”

GJ: “I get that.”

GB: “Like, I don’t turn back if I’m approaching a dead end. I just, you know, start shoveling.”

GJ: “[as Grim Beard] “I make a new road!”

GB: “[laughs] Yeah, pretty much.”

GJ: “I get that. That’s very similar to my writing style, because I’m also a slower writer than I’d like to be. I love writing, but it does take a lot of energy. And I free write all the time, that’s my main way of writing, because it’s easier for me just to let my mind and fingers do the work. Like, just type random shit, I can always edit later. Once I get something on page, I’m able to go back and edit.

“And I do the same thing when there’s a part that I’m like, I don’t know what to say about this yet, I’ll put in, “Talk why the cinematography is good in this part.” Then I’ll go back to writing.”

GB: “Did you ever leave one of those in?”

GJ: “[laughs] I should for one of the articles. Just be like, “Talk about how good the movie is,” then there’s no article.

GB: “Do you do that thing where it’s like, Oh, I have this great bit, but it’s two paragraphs down the way, and now I have to make myself meet that eventually.”

GJ: “Exactly. I have this great part I want to do, but the road to get there is so — I don’t want to do it. I just want to get to the joke already, or whatever. So you have to sit there and… think of, like, How can I naturally put this in there? Sometimes I just don’t do it naturally. I’m like, You know what? Fuck it, I’m just going to put it in there. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] Respect.”

GJ: I mean shit, you know? I was like, I’m already spending enough time on this already, doing all this editing. I might as well just, you know — fuck it. [laughs].”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “But yeah, I totally get that.”

GB: “It’s a style in itself.”

GJ: “I think so, too. Listen, I grew up on Cracked, so I’m pretty sure a lot of that’s bleed-through. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] You like those John Dies at the End books?”

GJ: “I’ve seen the movie. I haven’t read the book yet. I know I [listened] to Behind the Bastards, where the author came in and talked about that one time the head of eBay harassed this older couple that said, like, a couple of bad things about eBay or some shit.”

GB: “That’s funny.”

GJ: “It’s fucking crazy.”

GB: “That movie, I think, has two stellar acts, and then completely shits itself at the end.”

GJ: “I feel that way, too. I feel like the book is a very ambitious story… but the movie didn’t have the right budget for the type of story being told. From what I know of the book, there’s a lot of different stuff that they left out, like a mall scene with shooting things and [extra lives].”

GB: “Yeah, it felt like the movie was telling you, “Look, we don’t have the money for this.”

GJ: “[laughs] “We spent all of our money on Clancy Brown — I believe he was in it.”

GB: “A bunch of women take their tops off, and then there’s a cartoon spider. I don’t fucking know.”

GJ: “Yeah, then there’s like a [meat-monster], or something like that. I don’t know. Maybe it’s by design, by the authors. Like, “I want the movie to not be as good as the book, so people want to go read the book.” But then the caveat to that is they might watch the movie and think the story sucks, and not want to read the book.

“But yeah, I want to read them. I believe — Wasn’t the director of the movie the guy who directed Phantasm? Don Coscarelli?”

GB: “Yeah! He did Bubba Hotep as well.”

GJ: “Bubba Hotep! Which is a masterpiece. Yeah, so I think he was the right director, they just didn’t give him any money for it.”

GB: “Mhmm.”

GJ: “Honestly, from what I’ve heard… it seems like a book that would be really difficult to make into a movie, if not outright — not “impossible, but “non-preferable.”

GB: “Yeah, it’s very ADD-brained, and just billions of tangents of effect shots, I think.”

GJ: That you say ADD-brained reminds me of a movie. Have you ever seen Detention?”

GB: “Detention.”

GJ: “Yes. You want to talk about ADD movie, it’s this. It’s basically a deconstruction of, like, mid-2000s high school films, and also 90s culture.”

GB: “Okay. [laughs]”

GJ: “Like, it’s just a whole lot of — I can’t even explain it — a whole lot of random shit happening. Like, there’s time travel, there’s aliens, there’s a slasher. It starts off as a slasher story, but then there’s also aliens, and there’s also genetic mutation. Also, a kid has a TV for a hand at one point. It’s a whole lot of weird shit, and it’s really, really interesting.”

GB: “Yeah, this does sound like the product of Cracked.

 “I hope you haven’t noticed that I’m pandering to you by talking about horror things.”

GJ: “Oh, now I feel like I’m being used. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “I watched one of your Q&As… I remember you saying that you’re not much of a horror fan, as far as movies and stuff goes. You’re more of a mystery-thriller kind of person.”

GB: “Yeah, there’s a realm of horror I like, and it’s mostly, like, really cheesy stuff from the 70s, like anything Hammer Films did.”

GJ: “Oh hell yeah. Classics.”

GB: “Just old gothic-y stuff. I like anything with dolls. [laughs] Basically, if I can't laugh at it at certain points, I’m probably not into it. But there’s this really endearing quality to those older movies, because they’re doing so much with so little.”

GJ: “Yeah, and they’re also very theatrical, almost like a play. Everyone’s turning it up to eleven, like when Peter Cushing comes out and tears open Dracula’s coffin, only to see he’s not there.”

GB: “Their version of an elaborate fight scene is, like, somebody throws a candelabra at somebody. [laughs]”

GJ: “Yeah, exactly. [laughs]”

GB: “Then runs away or throttles somebody.”

GJ: “My favorite scene is from the first Dracula with Christopher Lee — it was that part I was talking about — where Peter Cushing finds out Dracula’s in the basement. He runs down there, opens the casket — he’s not there. Then you see in the background, Dracula walks in through a doorway. [Cushing] turns around, then Dracula just runs away. The climax of the film is fucking Peter Cushing chasing Dracula.”

GB: “So slow throughout the whole movie.”

GJ: “Yep, and then [Dracula’s] like, “Oh shit!” This very powerful vampire just runs and shuts the door because he’s scared of this old man chasing after him. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] I think my favorite of those is Captain Kronos.”

GJ: “I never actually watched that one, but I saw trailers for it all the time.”

GB: “It’s very gamer-coded. It feels like Proto-Castlevania, or like Vampire Hunter D, or something.”

GJ: “Like Nosferatu: The Game?”

GB: “[laughs] Pretty much, yeah. But as far as, like, a media that — There are films that I feel I like for their horror content, but that aren’t really horror. Like anything David Lynch makes. I feel like I most feel horror, or absorb it, is when it’s packaged in something that isn’t horror. [laughs]”

GJ: “I think it’s definitely more memorable that way. A lot of people remember scary scenes in kids movies, because they come out of nowhere.”

GB: “Yeah, yeah.”

GJ: “A friend of mine has an interesting viewpoint about genres, and that nothing is ever truly one genre. Everything is made up of different amounts of different genres, and we just base what a story is on the ratio of whatever genres are in there. So a horror story is primarily horror, but there’s also romance, and comedy, and these things. I think the same thing’s true for, like, I don’t know — Like Zodiac, or something like that, where it’s mostly mystery-thriller, but there are scenes of horror in there.”

GB: “Oh yeah, very like — Yeah, I don’t know. I think I just respond more to tension and anxiety than, like, spooky monster or gore, you know?

GJ: “So you’re like, “I like the build up to some sort of revelation, some horrifying revelation, not just a humanoid from the deep bursting through a wall and just tearing a person limb from limb.”

GB: “Yes. To be edged Lovecraftingly, I think, is what I’m after.”

GJ: “[laughs] That’s the quote I’m going to put at the beginning of this.”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “To be EDGED LOVECRAFTINGLY.” — Grim Beard.”

GB: “Yeah, alright.”

GJ: “I got to incorporate that into my lexicon now, because I love that. [laughs] I’m going to write my Cthulhu romance and be like, “He edged the cultist LOVECRAFTINGLY.”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “[as cultist] “Cthulhu-chan! No!”

GB: “Oh boy. [laughs]”

GJ: That’s where the money’s at. That’s what I need to start doing.”

GB: “That’s where the money’s at. It’s money that doesn’t feel great, but that’s where it is.”

GJ: “It reminds me of one of my favorite authors, John Brosnan, who wrote really respectable, good sci-fi books — which I didn’t really read those,. That wasn’t the part of his bibliography I was interested in. I was interested in his trashy horror shit that he wrote under the name Harry Adam Knight, which the acronym is “HAK.”

GB: “Oh! Of course!”

GJ: “He did that for writing Slimer, and Carnosaur, and The Fungus.”

GB: He just had, like, Garth Marenghi inside of him.”

GJ: “Yeah, exactly. And these stories, they’re really well-written, but they’re so fucking trashy. Like in Slimer, it’s about these kids that go to this “oil-rig-laboratory,” which has this shape-shifting monster on there. It absorbs [its victims] and takes their personality, and there’s a part where the very, very bad man that’s like — He’s a rapist. This guy’s a fucking rapist.”

GB:”Alright, alright.”

GJ: “There’s this part where the monster eats him, and then it forms into him because they keep, like, part of their personalities in there. And he just makes a giant fucking dick and kills this woman by fucking her hard and splitting her in half.”

GB: “[surprised laugh]”

GJ: “And I’m like, This is the same guy who writes respectable sci-fi stories, and here he is — I’m reading about a girl getting fucked to death by a big, fucking dick. So yeah.”

GB: “Wow. That’s literally also just the plot of the game Still Wakes the Deep, I just realized.”

GJ: “Yeah! [laughs]”

GB: “It sounds better, though, to be honest. [laughs]”

GJ: “Slimer is a fun time. I love trashy horror.”

GB: “Wait! That story was called SLIMER?

GJ: “Yes!”

GB: Wow. Is it spelled “Slime Her?”

GJ: “No, it should have been. If they were smart, they would have. But no, it’s called Slimer because he wrote just a bullshit title, thinking like, Oh, there’s no way they’re not going to change the title and call it Slimer. They’re going to change it to something else. And they didn’t. So he’s sitting there like, Fuck! [laughs].”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “But it’s a really fun book. It got turned into a movie called Proteus, with Doug Bradley in a small role.

GB: “Oh!”

GJ: “That was in — ‘95? ‘96?”

GB: “That’s Pinhead, right?”

GJ: “Yes, Pinhead!”

GB: “I know that!”

GJ: “Yeah, you’re sitting there like, “Doug Bradley!”

“Hellraiser! That’s part of the goth culture, right? Clive Barker?”

GB: “I think that was the first, actual, legit horror movie that I ever watched.”

GJ: “And it’s strange because it is horror, but Clive Barker has this way of making things more than the sum of its parts… People think of Hellraiser as this horror film where Pinhead goes around and just kills people. And it’s like — no, it’s not that. It’s a grander story about hell and people’s perversions, and the darker side of people, and it says a lot more. Also, a lot of kinky shit. So, you know, the horror is there, but there’s a lot more about it.”

GB: “Yeah, some of those books he wrote — You keep that under a pillow.”

GJ: “Books of Blood — I wouldn’t show that to EVERYBODY I know.”

GB: “I think I read Coldheart Canyon for the first time on a plane. Trying to keep it really tight there while still being able to read it.”

GJ: “Holding it like this [pantomimes holding book close to face] and waiting for some people to pass to read. [laughs]”

GB: “Pulling at my collar. Yeesh.”

GJ: Yeah! “Is it getting kind of steamy in here, or is it just me? Is the air conditioner not working?”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “But yeah, like — I forgot what we were talking about.”

GB: “I pulled you off-track, I’m sorry.”

GJ: “Yeah, you did! [laughs] Listen, it’s very easy to pull me off track. Probably not a good thing for an interviewer, but it is what it is.”

GB: “The movie with Doug Bradley in it for a small part.”

GJ: “Oh yeah, Proteus. And it was based on Slimer, which is a John Brosnan novel written under Harry Adam Knight. I said that because you said something about — Okay, I’m just going to go to the next question, I lost track again. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “Although one might misconstrue your channel as “horror-based,” that’s not actually the case. While your love for the genre is prominent, you also tackle other flavors of gaming, like the mystery genre with Nancy Drew, and the action genre with Max Payne.

“Apart from horror, what other genres are you particularly fond of? Are there any you hope to do more of on your channel? And are there any you actively avoid?”

GB: “I like straying away from horror, or just, like, dark themes. Yeah, I’m more and more interested in looking at seemingly ill-fitting games through a lens that was honed with horror and dark themes. So Nancy Drew was definitely a fun experiment with that, and I do want to do more Nancy Drew games.”

GJ: “That’s one of my favorite videos that you did, actually. I was sitting there like, Oh man, that’s unexpected — but not unwelcomed.”

GB: “[laughs] Right. I mean, I think a lot of people have a very intimate experience or relationship with certain games, and that series is certainly one of them. But yeah, like, taking something sort of wholesome or cartoony and extrapolating an adult darkness from it, I think, is really fun.”

GJ: “Because there’s always a bunch of implications in there to be like, “Oh yeah, we look at the surface, but here’s all the stuff that this implies.”

GB: “Yeah, the construction of Nancy Drew stories are like, you know — They’re like cop procedurals for kids. They’re structured that way, but without having constant violence or horrible things happening. And I love when there’s just a ghost for no reason, and it’s like, But is it really? Wink.”

“I’d like to do more stuff that’s not surface level horror, like the Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts franchises.”

GJ: “Hell yeah.”

GB: “There’s things I feel like I don’t have an in to make content out of, at least for right now. It’s usually bigger games with more eyes on them, like The Last of Us or, like, a Grand Theft Auto game, or just games that aspire to be films… when they’re aiming for photorealistic Hollywood production value. Because if I don’t see, like, the brush strokes and the mistakes in the production, I can’t connect with it essentially.”

GJ: “Makes sense.”

GB: “So yeah.”

GJ: “Feels less human and more robotic if there’s not little, small signatures and errors in there.”

GB: “For sure. The thing I feel I hone in on is the character and the personality that comes through from the creator, and there are certain franchises that I do feel that, and it’s like, This is an alien product to me. I got no content for this.”

GJ: “Yeah, I get that. I’ll dog on the Assassin’s Creed games all the time, where it’s literally just the same shit over and over and over with a new coat of paint.”

GB: “Every couple of years, I’m like, Maybe they changed. Then I’ll check one of them out, and they put me back in that modern day office setting, and I’m like, FUCK this. Yeah, get me out of here. Just do a historical epic of something. [laughs]”

GJ: “Oh my god! Nine to five again!”

GB: “I don’t know why they think that part’s cool.”

GJ: “Whoever’s making them is like, “Listen, this is my favorite part of the game, and I’ll be DAMNED if I take it out! Everyone’s going through it because I like it!”

GB: “Well, if that’s the case, then I would respect it if there was one guy championing it. [laughs]”

GJ: “All the original creators left, and there’s just this one guy in charge like, “You don’t get it! The future parts are GOOD!” [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “[as co-developer] “What if we do a game that just takes place in the future? Get it out of your system?” [as future-loving guy (FLG)] “No! I want it to be interspliced horribly between the cool levels!”

GB: “[as FLG] “Just completely break the momentum. I don’t care.”

GJ: “[as FLG] “I don’t give a fuck… I love it when momentums are broken! That’s my favorite parts of movies! I like it when there’s empty space and lull time!”

GB: “I’d be a complete hypocrite to criticize those, though, because I also play, like, every Far Cry game. I don’t think there’s, you know, quality writing in them or anything. It’s just when my brain’s off, they’re a great time. [laugh]”

GJ: “Listen, in Far Cry, you can hunt sharks and use their skin to make a new holster for another gun.”

GB: “I’ll watch videos of people that actually know how to play that game, and I’m like, Wow, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m just clicking on heads.”

GJ: “I got the silenced sniper rifle. I’m never going to get close to anybody ever again in the game. [laughs]”

GB: “Yeah! [laughs] It’s like once I completely remove myself from any kind of kinetic fun action, I’m like, I pretty much beat the game now. I am a god.”

GJ: “Pretty much. I was like, Oh man, I’m going to break this game over my knee! And that’s why if I ever did Let’s Plays for Far Cry or open-world games like that, it’ll be very fucking boring, because most of it will just be me like, Oh, I almost walked into an encounter! Let me go a hundred feet away so I can win!”

GB: “Just back it up and get out of here.”

GJ: “We’re all a little bit hypocritical… It’s part of the, as they say, the —”

GB: “The human experience.”

GJ: “Exactly. The human condition. [laughs]”

GB: “Yes.”

GJ: “I respect the fact that you actually break away and are doing games that aren’t strictly horror, or strictly dark and brooding, or just kind of weird to have in there, like the Nancy Drew games and all that kind of stuff. Even Max Payne’s — It’s a darker game, but still different from a lot of the other games you cover on [your channel].”

GB: “Yeah, and also it being Sam Lake, it’s very Lynchian. So I think he understands that game of tonal whiplash, which is what makes it special.”

GJ: “There’s a part where you get high and find out you’re in a video game. Where it’s like, “Oh, this is a computer game. It makes perfect sense.” And I’m like, Yeah, that’s the Lynchian flavor right there. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] And you follow a maze of your child’s blood.”

GJ: “Yeah, it’s like, Huh, this game about a noir detective is going places I didn’t think it was going to go. And that carries on to Max Payne 2, and Alan Wake, and Control. Not Max Payne 3, because that’s Rockstar.” 

GB: “A spicy take I don’t tell people is I feel like they lost the plot on that third one.”

GJ: “Oh yeah, it’s so different from 1 and 2. [They] brought it so grounded. Max Payne is supposed to be this loosening sanity kind of situation, you know? This guy lost his fucking family. His baby got killed. The first thing you see in the game is a dead baby, and you’re like, Oh shit!”

GB: “Yeah, they translated that as like, “Oh, he was just drunk and he’s sad.”

GJ: “Yeah, exactly.”

GB: “It’s like, “No, he’s FUCKED up.” [laughs]”

GJ: “Now he’s in Brazil, and [has] a good job as, like, a fucking bodyguard, and getting drunk.”

GB: “When they flashback to him in New York, though, it’s like, Oh, okay, let’s set the rest of the game here, huh?”

GJ: “Right? It’s like, Oh man, it feels almost like an old Max Payne game. ALMOST, because it still has a groundness to it. You walk around, Oh no! The Italian mob’s after us! Or some shit, and I was like, Yeah, I guess they would be, wouldn’t they?”

GB: “[exaggerated satisfaction] Oh yeah, send some goons after me, please. [laughs]”

GJ: “[laughs] Oh man, there’s a little bit of, Oh, so you KNOW what I want. You’re just not giving it to me.”

GB: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great dialogue and great soundtrack, though.”

GJ: “Oh yeah. Apparently they’re making a remake of [the first Max Payne], I think? So we’ll see how that goes.”

GB: “Very cool.”

GJ: “Yep. Alright, next question.

“Are there any videos you’re particularly proud of? Any games that really struck you? Any games you consider as wasted time?”

GB: So, I used to have a video about the game Harvester that for a long time I was like, That’s my favorite.”

GJ: “Then YouTube came along, didn’t it?”

GB: “Right. It was removed, I think, because I showed E3 footage of booth babes. They sent me a description that it was like “unwanted sexual harassment,” or something like that. They sent the timestamp for that, and I was like, You know what? Arguing this, I don’t feel good about it, so I’ll just take the L there.”

GJ: “You’re not going to argue the merit of booth babes? [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] They were putting me in a position to support booth babes.”

GJ: “Where it’s like, I’m not going to be the good guy.”

GB: “Either way, I come out of this looking like a creep. I do want to just remake that video someday, rather than, like, having to watch my old content, and then edit that out or something. [laughs]”

GJ: “I feel that. I can’t go to articles I wrote three years ago, because I’m like, I’ve grown so much since then. I go there, and I’m like, What the fuck was I thinking?”

GB: “That’s just a different guy.”

GJ: “I don’t know who that guy is.”

GB: “Well, at the moment, I think the game that replaced that in my head is the one for Deus Ex: Invisible War, because it was one I had been holding onto for a long time. I felt a relief, essentially, being able to tell anyone how, like, oddly compelling it is. And I think my best videos are usually the ones that are just dream conversations that I never had. So it’s like in my head, I’ve been talking to nobody about this game for so long, and now it’s out. I’ll look back at it sometimes, and I’ll be like, Wow! I was really on one for this one.”

GJ: “I get that. It happens to me all the time, where I’m like, If I were to have a conversation with somebody about this, what would I say? It’s practice in my head. Arguments for why this piece of media is good.”

GB: “Exactly!”

GJ: “And then what actually happens in-person is I forget everything I fucking rehearsed.”

GB: “Oh yeah. Do not ask me about that game right now.”

GJ: Exactly. “Watch the video!” It’s easier when I can just say it, then put it online for other people to watch. And I can ignore all the arguments in the comments, because I’m obviously right.”

GB: “Well, I got it out of me. It’s no longer in me. It’s in the computer now.”

GJ: “You know what? It’s the ghost in my machine now. It’s out in the world. I’ve released it. God help you all.”

GB: “[laughs] I don’t think I would consider any wasted other than — You know, there was a huge change in the algorithm, and what was accepted for video length. That happened over the course of ten years, and so I feel like I hit a lot of my favorite games that I could say the most out of really early. They’re, you know, 15 minute videos, when it then became acceptable to go for hours. And all this time while making them, I was worrying like, Oh, 15 minutes? Nobody’s going to have time for that!

“So I do feel I wasted the potential of those, but I’ll probably go back around to it, eventually.”

GJ: “I mean, you can just always go back to them. BloodRayne for sure. There’s a lot to say about that. You said a good bit about it, but I’m sure there’s a lot more, especially the sequel.”

GB: “I almost successfully pulled an [psi-]op on people with Nocturne, because I did have a Nocturne video.”

GJ: “Yep, I watched it.”

GB: “And then there were so many people that were like, “I swear I’ve been here. Just this sense of deja vu. I guess you didn’t cover this.”

GJ: “[laughs] Your Nocturne video and your Blair Witch video are in my rotation when I’m working.”

GB: “Oh, great!”

GJ: “The fact that no one said that the Rustin Parr chapter is not canon means I can say it’s canon.”

GB: “Fair enough, yeah. [laughs]”

GJ: “In my head, Spook House exists in The Blair Witch Project.”

GB: “Ah, I would love for that to be true.”

GJ: “Maybe one day they’ll dust off Nocturne, like, fifty years from now and be like, “What properties do we have that we can exploit right now?” We’ll get a double-A version of Nocturne. They’ll give us a really horrible port.”  

GB: “I think that creation meant too much to whoever — I forget his name — came up with the concept. It’s one of those, you know, “from-my-cold-dead-hands” situation.”

GJ: “Like, “I’m taking this to my grave. Either I make it, or nobody makes it.”

GB: “Yeah, cause it’s such — It’s like your first idea. This is what you dream of making a cool game when you’re, like, 12 or something.”

GJ: “And [the bigger distributors] are like, “Not sexy enough.” He’s like, “Fine, I’ll put Rayne in there.” [laughs] And I’m surprised BloodRayne didn’t get a bigger franchise than it did, because I remember it being pretty popular when I was a kid. A lot of people were playing it. I guess BloodRayne 2 might have killed it.”

GB: “Maybe. Maybe the movies, also.”

GJ: “Oh yeah, that’s right. I forgot. I’ve locked those up in my mind.”

GB: “Kind of put a stink on it.”

GJ: “Yeah. Uwe Boll touches something, and — I’m surprised the House of the Dead franchise is still around. But that’s okay [because] the new movie is going to be directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, so we’re in good hands. [laughs]”

GB: “Oh great.”

GJ: “Honestly, given the type of game it is, maybe his style will fit it better. But it’d be funny if he actually went, like, completely survival horror, like a Resident Evil story.”

GB: “This is the one he’s locked in on, and he just does the Resident Evil plot we all want. [laughs]”

GJ: “Yeah, we’re like, What the fuck? He’s just trying to fuck with us.”

GB: “[as Anderson] “I don’t know. I thought you wanted somebody to kick a motorcycle into a dog.”

GJ: “[as Anderson] “Isn’t that Resident Evil?”

“No! Well, yes, but not at the time the movie was made. [laughs]”

GB: “Right. I think that was the moment I developed my first opinion, was seeing the trailer for that.”

GJ: And you’re like, Huh, something seems off about this.”

GB: “It was a new emotion. I was just, like, incensed as a gamer. [laughs]”

GJ: “[laughs] You’re like, That’s not the feeling of the game at all. Alice isn’t worrying about how many bullets she has. This is nothing like the game.”

GB: “Also, who’s Alice? Somebody’s wife?”

GJ: “Yeah, exactly. [laughs] I’ll give Paul W.S. Anderson a lot of shit, [but] the fact that he just casts his wife in everything is a sense of love that I can only hope to have one day.”

GB: “[laughs] Yeah, respect. He’s a wife guy.”

GJ: “He’s like, “I just love my wife, and I want her to be the best character in all my movies.” I’m like, Oh, that’s romantic! Too bad the movies — hmmm. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] He did some weird ones early on that were interesting.”

GJ: “Oh yeah. Event Horizon and Mortal Kombat.”

GB: “He did one called Shopping as well that was very indie. “My first movie” kind of vibe.”

GJ: “I don’t think I’ve seen that one. I have to check it out because I am very curious. I want to see “right-out-of-film-school” Paul W.S. Anderson. See what his thought process was back then.

“So YouTube isn’t the only place you share your creativity. You’re also a musician.

“When did you start producing your own music? How would you describe your sound to those who haven’t heard it? And does it fall under any specific genre?”

GB: “I consider myself a dabbler in music, while knowing next to nothing about it. That only really came about because I needed music in the background of my videos, and the options for royalty-free stuff were not as robust as they are now.

“So I just started to reverse engineer songs that I liked… and felt were fitting as background [music], and didn’t steal your attention. Like the Silent Hill soundtracks, or ambient artists like Boards of Canada. That was what I was aiming for.

“And then, I think, during the pandemic, I had a lot more free time and felt compelled to push that as far as I could go, which resulted in the “album” called Pure Acid Hell. Which is like a love letter to early 90s industrial and EBM, so bands like Skinny Puppy and Nitzer Ebb.”

“And that’s, like, loosely strung together as taking place in a fake video game world setting that was like Vampire: The Masquerade meets Deus Ex.”

GJ: “That’s pretty rad.”

GB: “Thank you. Yeah, it became a hobby, where it was, like, a necessity before. [laughs]”

GJ: “[laughs] You’re sitting there like, I kind of like this.”

GB: “I mean, there is a cathartic quality to it, I guess.”

GJ: “Well, the nu-metal friend I have — I had her listen to your stuff before talking to you a couple of weeks back, and she gave the thumbs up of approval and said, “This is some really good fucking shit.”

GB: “Oh great!”

GJ: “You’re doing some good stuff.”

GB: “Yeah, I felt I had ascended a new height when Spotify recommended me to me.”

GJ: “Hell yeah!”

GB: “It’s just, like, me sandwiched in-between bands I actually respect, you know?”

GJ: “[as Spotify] “Hey, you might like yourself!” And you’re like, “Thanks, Spotify. I might like myself.”

GB: “Skip, but thank you!”

GJ: “I’m not going to listen to it, but I appreciate the gesture.”

GB: “Actually, report.”

GJ: “[laughs] Actually, I’m offended now.”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “I mean, at least it was between bands you liked. You imagine it was between bands you didn’t like?... Like, What the fuck, Spotify?”

GB: “Oh, that’s true! Yeah, I guess it could have gone the other way.”

GJ: “Again, bullet dodged.”

“Can we expect any more album releases soon? And where can one listen to your music? Where can one go to help your music career?”

GB: “Well, you can find that on Bandcamp and Spotify, both under Grim Beard. And I have an ever-growing folder of half-finished tracks and abandoned ideas that will definitely surface in some form. I’m a big quantity-over-quality creator. [laughs[ So really, I could just go through and pick the most viable songs and develop them. I’ll occasionally post snippets of that in my Discord.

“But my process happens really spontaneously, and I’m often just in the moment. It’s like there’s suddenly a chorus in my head, and I need to get there somehow. Then, like, an hour later, there’s the facsimile of a song. But it was a lot easier to find time to scream about rats when I lived alone, so I have to have very particular conditions before I feel comfortable doing that.”

GJ: “I feel that. Everything has to be right. The Feng Shui has to be right… or else it’s just all off.”

GB: “Right. So yeah, it’s there. It’s on me to actually make the move on it.” 

GJ: “No, fuck that. Just release a whole album of half-finished tracks, and call it Abandoned Ideas. There you go.”

GB: “[laughs] The mixtape, you know?”

GJ: “Yeah! [laughs] Just make it all one track. No pause. A whole fifty minute album. It’s just one song, like a Frankenstein version of a bunch of songs.”

GB: “[laughs] Hell yeah.”

GJ: “There we go. That’s a lazy way of doing things. Which I think being lazy can be an art.”

GB: “True.”

GJ: “Some of the best art comes from people being lazy. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs] Well, it’s creativity through — I guess “limitation of the self.”

GJ: “[laughs] Creativity through limitation of motivation.”

GB: “[laughs] Yeah.”

GJ: “There you go. Perfect. Make it sound very pretentious.”

GB: “Right, right, right.”

GJ: “Alright, I am fairly confident in saying that you are the voice of the Goth Gamer Nation.

“What is the Goth Game Nation? [speaks through side of mouth] For those who can’t interpret context clues. How does one join  said nation? Is being a goth or a gamer a prerequisite? Do you have to be both? What if I know a goth gamer friend who can vouch for me?”

GB: “I don’t think you have to be either. I’m not a gatekeeper of gothdom. I think by nature… goth in itself is super welcoming and diverse.

“And so in my experience — I’m not going to call myself the arbiter and disqualify you if your only connection to goth is that, like, you’re mentally unwell and like dark colors. But I definitely started saying that ironically, because a small creator referring to their audience as a nation of any sort was silly to me.

“Tying into the last question, it really helped me start recording because I have this weird hesitation when I’m recording my own voice, because I hate the sound of it. But if I just run into it yelling, you know, “What’s up, Goth Gamer Nation!” Then my energy is already there. It’s time to go.”

GJ: “It’s like mentally hyping yourself up.”

GB: “Exactly!... I’m just announcing the space, but anybody’s allowed to show up — if you’re cool.”

GJ: “Gotcha. So the prerequisite is, “You got to be cool.” If you’re not cool, can’t join the nation. Sorry.”

GB: “Yeah, I’ll say that.”

GJ: “That’s the one prerequisite. I dig it.

“Alright, next question.

“For those not in the know, tell us more about the Rat Roundup. When and why was it conceived? Has the rat round up been fruitful so far? How about the Bat Roundup?”

GB: “[laughs] The Rat Roundup is a recurring segment in my videos where I spotlight how a video game has chosen to represent rats, which are commonplace in many games, be it a dungeon, a cave, a basement. It’s something I think is useful, as well as fun, as a way of showcasing the level of detail or character a game has.

“You know, that it chose to add this decorative lifeform that you pass by all the time. You don’t think about it, but it requires design, and scripting, and sound. It’s like a microcosm of design that didn’t need to be there at all. And it just shows that there’s, like, heart and soul — and also that rats are cool.

“And the bat roundup, and other various roundups, are meant to achieve the same purpose.”

GJ: “Because sometimes there’s not a rat.”

GB: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You take what you can get. But I really like when developers add vermin or small, benign creatures to a game. That’s the sort of thinking I think we should be pushing for instead of trying to create The Matrix.”

GJ: “I agree. And you’re right. It’s like a way to see how much thought and effort was put into something, when they’re willing to just animate small things that are only a second in length, but fully animated and thought out.”

GB: “It shows you care.”

GJ: “Yeah, exactly. You’re sitting there like, “Oh, I’m going to restart this level so I can watch that rat again.” I agree a hundred percent.

“And we’re to our last question.

“What’s the future looking like for Grim Beard? Any projects you wouldn’t mind giving us a sneak peek of? And is there anything you’re particularly excited about?”

GB: “I’ve been making some really fun projects that are exclusives to Patreon. Like, I do deep dives into ghost hunting shows, and I do want to make more content about film and TV. But it’s a constant process of trying to make sense of how I can do that.

“So like right now, I’m trying to figure out how to do a video about schlocky action films from the 2000s, like the Underworld franchise, and Blade, and stuff.”

GJ: “My childhood.”

GB: “Right? But it’s just a matter of finding a way of doing it that is both fun for me, and also just doesn’t get vaporized by YouTube. Because I used to do videos about the show Supernatural, where I do a video for each episode, but the increasingly bizarre lengths I would have to go to just to get them uploaded was killing me. And even when they’d go up, they’d just get randomly blocked sometimes.

“So it’s sort of my white whale to figure out how I can do that, and not have YouTube thinking I’m creating, like, a market replacement for the CW.

“So yeah, essentially I want to do film, and I’m actively trying to figure out how to do that… Because I don’t have an on-screen persona, which I think makes it easier for a lot of people to just, like, Cut to me talking about it, and then I’ll show the trailer or something. But I can only abuse the POV so much before it’s like, “Why isn’t this just on the screen? I’m looking at you looking at you screen.” You know?

GJ: “Just use the POV cam to watch the movie on your computer screen.”

GB: “Right? I mean, it would work. I have proof that that does work, but it’s like — How much is that testing the patience of the audience?”

GJ: “I got to find the point where it’s too much.”

GB: “Yeah. Other than that, the long-term dream I have is that I would love to make a game myself. I’ve started and stopped on that front a few times, because I find it extremely difficult to work on it, and it not be the only thing I work on because it is so fun and exhilarating. Like, getting things to work and function like a game.

“So the first time I made a little guy, and he could move around the screen, that broke me. I was like, Oh my god, I am a god suddenly. And I’ve been trying to teach myself a few different engines and decide on one.

“But then I decided to hold back and focus on making a game bible with dependency charts and dialogue plotted out. So I could, like, actually take it seriously, and not just internally experiment. It’s not something I expect to have done for years, but I think about it a lot. And sometimes, even when I don’t have anything to add to it, I’ll just read through what I have there again, and, like, dream of it being real.”

GJ: “Dude, that’s me with all my unwritten books and stories in my head. Where I’m like, Oh, it’s so nice to think about. I wish it was on paper.”

GB: “Oh, that’d be so cool if I didn’t have to make that.”

GJ: “I’m like, Oh, it’d be so cool if it just existed as soon as I thought about it.”

GB: “Not to nail down any of it so I’m like, I have to be committed to it, but what I’m aiming for, it’s like a horror-comedy that’s sort of bleak. It’s a point-and-click adventure game about hunting cryptids, specifically in San Diego.”

GJ: “Hell yeah!”

GB: “I wanted that to be, you know, [in pretentious, nerdy voice] “a character itself.” 

GJ: “[as pretentious game developer] “The environment's also a character. Look, there’s a trolly!” [Note: It wasn’t until later that Giallo realized he was thinking of San Francisco, which is not San Diego. I’m tired, man.]

GB: “Well yeah, because I started writing it while I was living in downtown San Diego. I think there’s just a lot of room to have the bizarre disparity of that city play into [the game] as a, like, overly hard-boiled character, I guess.”

GJ: “I think that’s a cool idea, because San Diego is usually portrayed as a bright and sunny place, so having a darker horror-comedy, maybe even noir, take on it would be very interesting.”

GB:”Yeah. It has sort of similar qualities that LA has, where it’s beautiful one street, then post-apocalyptic another.”

GJ: “I feel that.”

GB: “Amazing food, though.”

GJ: “Oh, I can imagine. I’d hope so. See, I live in the middle of Texas, next to a military base.”

GB: “Aliens? Do you see them?”

GJ: “Maybe, maybe, maybe. I think it’s more just missiles, but there could be aliens there. Who knows?”

GB: “Alright! Something’s in the sky. Who’s to say what it is?”

GJ: “Exactly. Anytime I ask questions, the military police show up,  and I wake up in my bed and don’t remember what happened.”

GB: “Right. That’s probably nothing.”

GJ: “Yeah, I’m not too worried about it. If it was important, I would remember it. [laughs]”

GB: “[laughs]”

GJ: “But yeah, that’s really cool. I like your idea for that, and I think that’s definitely something you should keep working on, your long-term dream of making video games.

“I think — 1. Not enough point-and-click games out there. It’s pretty much a dead genre that needs to come back, need to resurrect that shit.

“And 2. I think you have a good idea and handle on what you want in something, and I think a lot of people are interested in what you have to put out there.”

GB: “Well, thank you. I do think it’s a dying genre. There’s so much you could develop from it. I do want it to be, like, a funny game, but I don’t want it to be “quippy” funny. I want to play with the conventions of the genre, and essentially break the format of those. So it’s in itself absurd what you’re doing, you know?”

GJ: “The game that comes to my mind is Disco Elysium, where it just takes over the genre conventions of that type of game, and just says, “Fuck it.”

GB: “Yeah, it’ll be like that, but not smart.”

GJ: “You don’t give yourself enough credit. I’m sure it’ll be smart. It just won’t be like — The thing about Disco Elysium is that it’s really fucking wordy.”

GB: “Yeah!”

GJ: “You’re practically reading a book.”

GB: “Also, you dream about, like, that terrible arc for a game, where it was literally destroyed by the thing it was criticizing.”

GJ: “Exactly. I mean, dems the breaks sometimes.”

GB: “Dems the brakes!”

GJ: “That’s pretty much the last question I had for you, so if there’s anything else you want to say, go for it!”

GB: “Stay goth, stay gaming.”

GJ: “Hell fucking yeah. Stay goth, stay gaming. I dig it. Well, it’s been a pleasure talking to you, man. Thank you!”

GB: “Yeah, it was nice to meet you.”

GJ: “I appreciate you letting me go off one one or two or four tangents.”

GB: “Oh, it’s no problem.”

GJ: “Pleasure to meet you, looking forward to more of your content. Hopefully I get to talk to you again sometime in the future. Whenever you need press or anything, I’m here for you.”

GB: “Yeah, sure, this was fun.”

GJ: “I hope you have a great rest of your day, bro.”

GB: “You too. See you later.”

GJ: “Later.”